goodbye for now ♥ .
i dun need u to live
Friday, May 20, 2005 12:10 PM
i jus realise tat i dun need u to carry on living .. in actual fact .. i dun even hate euu ... its jus a moment of anger .. i dun need ESMOND LEE to carry on living .. u r nothing .. did u watch e movie " I DO I DO " ?? did u see wad e aunties say ?? S'pore have dunno how many million ppl , minus half is women , minus half is old man .. still got dunno how many man left .. since there r still so many male left .. i believe one day .. i can jus find tat someone whom truly loves me but not MAKE USE of me .. i am sure tat one day , u will find jus tat girl for u .. while i'll find tat guy jus for me .. i believe tat .. but other then believing in tat ... i dun believe in others ... i can live without love * except from my family n close friends n buddy * , i am heartless .. i've being froze by e reality of this world .. nothing is real in this world .. everything is jus a dream .. a fairytale .. where once u wake up .. everything will vanish ... as if nothing has ever happen .. n in reality .. everything is cold , heartless ...i do not have faith in anything already .. u got me into this .. its u .. i;m talking bout u ESMOND LEE .. i do not hate u .. i do not blame u anymore .. cos this is reality .. n its wad i learn from u .. o should i say .. u made me realise it ?? i dunno .. i'm confuse between reality n fairytale .. they seem so different .. yet so true .. so near .. yet so far .. i dun wan to face reality .. but i am force to face it .. i have to face it .. to see how reality is so cold , so heartless .. how painful it is to b living in reality .. how i wish i can go back to my fairytale .. in P4 .. where he n i play together .. go walk around e housing there together .. we didn't stead .. but u did love me .. i noe it .. cos u told me .. i wanted to tell u i love u too .. but b4 i can tell u tat .. i moved house ..i dun remember how u look like , wad is ur name .. but i jus noe tat .. after few yrs have past .. i saw u again .. during chinese new year .. my relative is a friend of ur mum .. when u saw me .. u didn't noe me .. u jus went off to play .. without talking to me .. u totally forgotten bout me .. n it hurts me .. n its e past already .. i pass my history n chinese overall .. but i fail my phy badly .. n i suppose 100% sure tat i'll fail my chem too .. its so damn difficult lol .. i wanna drop science !! argh .. haha ... 2day go walk around east point with chan , buddy , fang , zhao , mal .. den we saw dawn mei mei .. who is looking for nicole .. haha .. den chan treat us eat mochi .. not nice to eat de .. cos of e flour lol .. haha .. sian lei .. i wanna forget e past .. forget everything .. forget e unhappy times .. where i have to suffer silently ..where nobody noes wad am i feeling ..to start a new .. a new life .. a new goal .. a new me ?? impossible .. i'm still a girl who is := ugly = fat= lame = loves talking crap = loves to make fun of friends = laugh with them = show a fake smile everywhere i go = fake feelings a new life .. to me .. means .. a new me .. but its gonna be ...a FAKE me ..
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