goodbye for now ♥ .
Friday, October 12, 2007 12:50 AM
Blogging at this time due to my mind, which is full of thinking and feelings. Feelings are such scary thing. Why feelings can affect one person so much? And affecting not only a day nor two.. but it had been 2weeks and I am still not out of this stage.
I guess I really have to stop myself, like a weirdo, doing thing which others would go the opposite. Practicing isolation from people in game. People whom I regard them close to me even in virtual. There are some whom I already met in real, so they are definitely not included. There are some who are just purely friends, so also not included. And since I’m talking about virtual, no real life friends will be included.
Isolation from those whom it seem to be a drug, which got me addicted to talking to them every single day. And mood swings if I didn’t get the reply from them. I guess this is a better way. Hard to quit, but have to. Isolate myself, its all right if they hate me, but I just have to do it.
Someone asked me, why am I trying to do all this. Quit mean quit, play mean play. But I’m a weirdo, its hard to just quit. The drugs made me so addictive that I’m afraid of becoming possessive and obsessive over them? I care a lot of how others think of me, is that why I am doing all this?
I just no longer know myself.
I no longer have control over myself like I used to.
I am a hopeless weirdo.
Scolding vulgarities these few days in game and I know some cannot stand it anymore. I must stop myself. I should start involving in other thing then game. I should, I must.
.
